Stoopid Trees!

I'm so sick of trees. 

Two days into the Northwest corner of the U.S. and, frankly, I can't stand them, especially in Olympic National Park. These trees are ostentatious, egregious in their size and splendor, show-offs. And there are just so many of them.

I get it. I do.

They're big. Old. Majestic. There are a whole bunch of them, all together. 

They're also blocking my XM receiver from its signal and Jimmy Page was mid-riff on his solo in Heartbreaker.

Seriously? Down in front.

I sped on Highway 101. I was, as our friend Phil Switzer would say, hauling the mail. There's a mid section of 101 that was quite twisty, the yellow cautionary signs suggesting 20 MPH, 30 MPH, 40 MPH.

Thanks for the suggestions, I thought. 40 MPH? How about 65? 30 MPH? How about 60?

Twenty MPH? Forty sounded about right.

The Pacific Ocean murmured to the right, the waves breaking, many people strolling across the sandy beaches.

I slowed down long enough to take a video on the GoPro. Back to the road. Next corner, please.

I flew towards a sign that read, "World's Largest Spruce. Next Left."

Hmmmph. Compared to what?, I thought.

The other gi-normous trees out here? Do you really want to get my attention? Put a Panda Express on the other side of the road. That would get my attention.

"You rode through the Olympic National Forest? Did you see the world's largest spruce?"

"No but I had the orange chicken at Panda Express. Deeeee-lish!"

I made it through the magnificent rain forest without felling any trees and followed the road to Portland, one of my favorite cities. The original plan had a double day there, to relax, recuperate from three eight-hour rides in a row. I rode through downtown at three P.M., ate a late lunch. I traveled five hours to get there, yet surprisingly I felt ready for more riding.

After tooling around the city I decided to invest another five hours through the Oregon mountains for an overnight at Yreka (pronounced "Why-reekah").

It was time to head home. The next five evening hours would split the time between Portland and San Jose.

I decided to surprise the boss and told her I planned to stay in Portland at least the night, maybe two, I was too tired, needed to rest. And yet I would be able to make it home the next day.